So I'm starting a campaign on speaking out and ending Domestic Violence in Africa and although I cannot reveal too many details at this time I just wanted to give everyone a heads up because I'm going to need your support for my voice to be heard. Apparently, according to you people, I'm a good writer so I thought I would dedicate an entire blog post expressing my thoughts, feelings, and concerns about domestic violence in Africa just to give my whole campaign a jump start.
First off Domestic Violence in Africa is not the same as it is here in America. The bruises may be the same but the reasons are very different. In all honesty I feel that Domestic Violence is nowhere near being an "issue" in Africa. By that I mean it is not something of great concern to our people. The U.S has so many organizations fighting against domestic violence and there are so many laws implicated and in the process of being created to stop this pandemic. Here in America we have battered women's shelters, counselors, support groups, everything a woman needs to get out of an abusive relationship except the self-courage it takes to actually leave is provided. In Africa, especially my home land of Guinea. people often turn the other cheek when it comes to domestic violence. If a woman is being abused by her husband she may turn to her mother for some help but an African mother would probably just tell her to "suck it up and go back" or ask her what she did wrong to deserve it. It's sad that these women have no one to turn to and calling the police is just not an option that many are comfortable with. The women are forced to accept their circumstances and constantly live in fear of the next attack. But physical violence is not the only problem, verbal abuse is even more prominent. In a male dominant society, women are often looked down upon as inferior to men thus making them targets to discrimination. Many women are slaves in their own home where men as the head of the household and main provider abuse this power. Calling a women names or talking down to her as if she were your child instead of your wife/fiancee/girlfriend is abuse. I think it's important for men to treat women equally and fairly and I don't feel that there is ever any reason for a man to put his hands on a woman. My focus is on women because women are everything in this world and they are the main targets of domestic violence. 85% of domestic violence cases are women, that is a huge majority! It's obvious that women are the targets because we are the weaker sex in terms of physical strength, political power, and social status...all reasons out of our control. This is why I believe in empowering women, giving them the strength and opportunity to become equal leaders in this world. Ending domestic violence will not be an easy feat but we can at least implicate programs to help these women escape, to show their children a better life, to get these abusers to change and ultimately stop the cycle of abuse. Because that's what domestic violence is, a cycle. Children who are raised in these situations often grow up to be violent themselves and pass it on to their children and so on. Violence is often times a learned behavior. Think about this, if a little boy grows up in a household where his mother and father are equal partners and his father treats his mother with dignity and respect he will learn to treat women that way himself don't you think? But if he grows up in a home where his father slaps his mom for not ironing his work shirt or not having dinner ready on time then he will probably lack respect for his mother as well and see women to be inferior. Domestic Violence affects the whole family. How can you focus on going to school and learning when you witness such violence on a day to day basis? How can you be happy when you dread going home everyday? Home is suppose to be the place you can go to when the whole world is against you, when everything is going wrong, but for millions of families that is not the case because of Domestic Violence. Let's not forget one of the most traumatizing of all forms of abuse, the one everyone is afraid to speak about...sexual abuse. Uncles touching nieces, cousins touching cousins, fathers touching daughters...you all know what I'm talking about. There are so many young girls living with the burden of that secret, afraid to tell anyone. The taboo of speaking to children about sex in Africa needs to end because that is what allows sexual abuse to take place and the perpetrator to go unpunished. Mothers and fathers, specifically African parents need to be more open about these things with their children that way if your daughter is being sexually abused by an uncle/cousin/brother she won't be afraid to tell, no one can trick her into thinking it's her fault or believing that she will get in trouble for it and justice can be served so that the next little girl won't have to suffer. I hope to break the silence, to stop making it a secret, and to end the cycle of abuse in Africa. My long-term goals include counseling programs for the abused and abusers, group homes for battered women and their children, and eventually change the mentality of our people so that they can see that this is wrong and that it shouldn't be overlooked. That's all for now, if any of you have a story to tell, whether your own or one you witnessed please contact me because I will be holding seminars in the coming months and I need speakers. Also, if you are being abused and need help do not hesitate to contact me, I'm here to help in anyway that I can. You can contact me at FatimaBokoum@yahoo.com and we can take it from there.
